The Infidelity Crisis: Website and Book Recommendations
Shonnie Brown, MFT
Good people in good marriages are having affairs more than ever before. When sex combines with emotional intimacy, as happens increasingly in the workplace, the threat to the marriage is enormous. More and more I'm seeing people who have had an affair themselves or have been hurt by their partner's involvement in one. An affair may be a symptom of something not being addressed in the relationship. It may be the acting out of a projection of how things could, should, would be... But one thing is for certain--an affair within a marriage is always associated with pain.
Here are some links to infidelity resources online. And some book recommendations by my clients who represent both sides of the issue.
Recommended Websites:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com
The Marriage Builder site calls itself the #1 infidelity support site on the internet. It is extremely comprehensive--Q&As, vignettes, articles, coping skills, internet infidelity. I highly recommend it.
http://www.dearpeggy.com
Dear Peggy.com is another very comprehensive infidelity resource center by Peggy Vaughan, author of "The Monogamy Myth," a personal handbook for recovering from affairs.
http://www.cosa-recovery.org/home.html
COSA is a 12-step recovery program for men and women whose lives have been affected by another person's compulsive sexual behavior.
http://www.network54.com/Forum/233195/
The Healing Heart is a message board and posting site for those coping with feelings of betrayal due to a partnerŐs extramarital affair.
http://www.aftertheaffair.net
The official site for the reader acclaimed book, "Infidelity Crisis: How to Gain Forgiveness and Respect After Your Affair" by Katie Coston.
http://www.shirleyglass.com/quizzes.htm, http://www.shirleyglass.com/qa.htm
Dr. Glass,a world renowned expert on infidelity, answers a wide range of questions and offers quizzes to assess one's vulnerability to having an affair.
Recommended Reading:
"Not Just Friends: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity" by Dr. Shirley Glass. Explores "the new crisis of infidelity." Glass offers well-defined guidelines, including tips for determining how vulnerable relationships are and prescriptions for keeping them "safe."
"Repairing Your Marriage After His Affair: A Guide for Healing and Rebuilding Trust" by Marcella Weiner and Armand Dimele. A book written for women who want to make sense out of their husband's choice to have an affair.
"Emotional Unavailability: Recognizing It, Understanding It, and Avoiding Its Trap" by Bryn C. Collins: An inspiring, solution-oriented guide. "Emotional Unavailability" looks at why people form painful and unfulfilling associations and empowers them to find authentic emotional connections. Collins identifies the 10 types of emotionally unavailable people to avoid.
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