Co-Dependent Characteristics and Patterns Gudrun Zomerland, MFT Source: Co-Dependent Anonymous I have difficulty identifying what I feel. I have difficulty expressing my feelings. I tend to minimize, alter or even deny how I feel. I have difficulty speaking what's on my mind. I keep things to myself.   I have difficulty forming and/or maintaining healthy relationships. I worry about how other people might respond to my feelings. I worry about what other people think of me. Other people's actions and attitudes often determine how I respond or act. I assume responsibility for other people's feelings and/or behaviors.   I tend to put other people's wants and needs before my own. I am loyal and stay in relationships even when they are harmful. My fear of other people's anger determines what I say or do. I question or ignore my values in order to stay connected with another person. I value other people's opinions more than my own.   I have difficulty saying "no". I am afraid of rejection. I am afraid of getting hurt. I am afraid I might hurt other people's feelings. I have difficulty making decisions.   I need to feel needed in order to be OK. I don't think asking for help is OK. I am hard on myself. My self-esteem depends on outer circumstances or people. I have higher expectations of myself than other people.   I don't allow other people to make mistakes. I usually know what other people should do to solve their problems. I can't tolerate the sense of disappointing others. I feel quite upset when I make a mistake. I am perfectionistic.   I have difficulty seeing goods things about myself. I have difficulty accepting compliments. I tend to judge everything I think, say or do harshly. Nothing I do is ever good enough. Loving myself would be selfish.   ©2005-2010 Gudrun Zomerland, Chinn Street Counseling Center; all rights reserved.