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Living with the Light and Dark Sides of Life Gudrun Zomerland, MFT I think too often we live under the illusion that being emotionally healthy means feeling good all the time. In working with people recovering from all kinds of addictions and in experiencing my own journey I have found that what most of us need to develop is tolerance for feeling uncomfortable. As soon as we feel anger, sadness, shame or fear most of us want to get rid of these "negative" feelings. Granted, they don't feel pleasant, but that does not make them bad feelings. They are simply unpleasant. Just like their good counterparts they carry information that is important for us to pay attention to. Every feeling is a signal that announces a need. When we ignore or suppress our un-comfortable feelings we do the same to our underlying needs. It takes creative energy to ignore or suppress feelings. Small wonder then that we often walk around tired and uninspired. What we need to do is to free up our creative juices so that we can apply them to dealing with the needs underlying our feelings. In prehistoric and ancient times people knew the value of the dark side of life, that is the painful, scary, uncomfortable part. In conjunction with honoring the light side they devised rituals that honored the dark, and even further, initiation rites that allowed and encouraged uncomfortable feelings to emerge. They knew that by being able to struggle with their inner demons and by tolerating internal discomfort they could reach a deeper place within themselves from which sprang a power and creativity that would benefit them and their tribe. It is this kind of creativity that I support clients in finding within themselves, a creativity that is constructive, respectful to all, and ultimately healing. Then, no matter how we feel about what life brings to us, we are prepared to face ourselves and take care of our needs in the best possible way. Life then becomes a broad spectrum that is inspiring in itself.
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