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Licensed Marriage &
Family Therapist
MFC# 34558
405 Chinn Street
Santa Rosa, CA 95404
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Phone: 707-566-7742
Email: k.coop@comcast.net

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Articles by
Kevin Cooper:

Fred Luskin forgive Forgiveness
Matthieu Ricard happiness skill Book review:
"Happiness -- A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill"
premarital pre-marital marriage couples winsor Book review:
"The Diamond Cutter"
premarital pre-marital marriage couples winsor Fear of Being Big
men teen adolescent gay lesbian santa rosa Judgment vs. Compassion
co-dependency codependency windsor Shame: A Sickness
of the Soul
sonoma county Marriage Family Therapist The Effectiveness of Men's
Group Psychotherapy

Article by
Alan Rappoport, Ph.D.:
santa rosa men's support group Co-Narcissism: How We Accommodate to Narcissistic Parents (PDF)
Article by
Vic Comello:
santa rosa men's support group Introduction:
Handbook of Personality Development

 

CAMFT California Association Marriage Family Therapists

 
 
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Book review: "The Diamond Cutter" by Geshe Michael Roach
Kevin Cooper, MFT

In this instructive book, Geshe Michael Roach, an ordained Buddhist monk, and diamond merchant, outlines a strategy for achieving personal and business success. Combining his business experience with excerpts from ancient Buddhists texts, he integrates spiritual principles with practical suggestions which are as applicable to the business world as they are to personal and emotional growth.

Roach begins his book with a discussion of the Buddhist concept of emptiness which he applies to various business problems. He reminds us that good and bad experiences are a matter of perception and that perception comes from within not without. As with many emotional challenges, learning to focus within rather than believing the cause of our suffering is external can be very useful. He makes a powerful argument for recognizing that our reaction to difficulties is a conditioned response based on our history, not a function of external circumstances which are out of our control. Similar to current theories of psychology, he suggests that by staying conscious of our reactions to difficulty and the impact of those reactions on others, we can learn to respond to challenges in ways which can dramatically improve the quality of our experience.

Roach goes on to define human experience as a function of what he calls "imprints" which ancient Buddhist wisdom suggests is responsible for how we each experience the world. Imprints are planted in our mind through our awareness. Roach likens our minds to a VCR recorder that records imprints 24/7 based on our experiences and our reactions to those experiences. The nature of our responses, whether they are hurtful or helpful and factors such as: our intent, emotional intensity, integrity, willingness to take responsibility, and certain characteristics of the people we interact with, determine the impact of these imprints on our mind.
"Every existing object in the world is empty. This means no object in the world is good or bad from its own side; one man's meat is another man's poison. An object becomes good or bad according to your perceptions, and those perceptions are dictated very precisely by the good or bad imprints put in your mind in the past. Problems are not problems from their own side: rather, there is something in your mind making you see the problem as a problem. Every problem can be turned into an opportunity, because no problem is a problem in and of itself."
He describes how we can consciously cultivate positive imprints which in time inevitably result in favorable experiences. He compares this process to cultivating a garden and reminds the reader that planting and tending takes time. Some of Roach's suggestions for self nuturing include: daily personal silent time, regular mid-week work breaks, and annual retreats. I would add therapy to his list as a powerful tool for becoming aware of how our history shapes our conditioned reactions and learning how we can consciously chose more productive responses to life's challenges.

For more about Geshe Michael Roach, visit enlightenedbusiness.com.
Kevin Cooper MFT Santa Rosaback to Kevin Cooper

 

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